During one moment of melancholy a few months ago, I had requested for you to make the simple pancake that you used to cook for us when we're kids. And you happily obliged, although you were wondering what's so nice about it. I remember my childhood weekend mornings began with this pancake every now and then. Just as you were happy to cook every kind of dish and delicacy for us. I'm wondering how you could prepare so many types of food during our life together. I remember the recipe and cook books that you had in the house's little library. We enjoyed your cooking.
You were always either washing clothes, reading papers and books and cooking to fill up your time, when you're staying with us. You had mobility issues. It was the winter solstice festival. I joined you in making the coloured balls of glutinous rice. I'm glad for the opportunity to do something, together with you. I know Life is not permanent and I've always sought every chance to record memories. Memories which will carry me for the next few decades or until my time is up. I will always cherish the moments.
Knowing your mobility issue, your sister had couriered over this walking frame, to help you move around easily. Thanks to auntie Goot for this gift. However, you couldn't walk far. So, the walking frame was for use at home only. No walking outside the home. You also didn't want to be pushed around on the wheelchair. Perhaps you were too conscious of yourself in public. The house is big enough for you to walk, for your daily exercise. The furthest you've walked beyond the sliding gate, is to hang the clothes after the washing machine cycles. Try to occupy your time, you did. To the best of your ability.
Penang has always brought good memories, till now. The drive up north during the school holidays (twice a year in the 80s). The stops at KL and Ipoh for visits and meals. There's only the ferry to bring us across during those days. The coins that you taught us to throw, to appease the Sea Spirit, for a safe sea journey. The long wait and anticipation on driving onto the ramp on and off the ferry, stepping foot on the island state. The kampung where you were born. Then the bridges were built. A trip to Penang will never be complete without a drive on both the bridge and ferry. The ferry is now history, the service ceased at the end of December 2020. Our final ride was in August 2020, which was also your final trip to Penang, your hometown.
I'll still regale at your recounts of the olden days in the jungle where you stayed. The rifle to shoot the monkeys and squirrels for food. The durians that you freshly picked with your brothers and sisters. The lot were transformed into durian cakes if there's a big harvest. Fetching dry wood for the kitchen stove, on the bicycle. Chores of the older generation, you shared with us. Life was hard then. Scarce food was shared amongst the big family members, including the cousins that grandparents took under their care. An apple was cut into 8 pieces, for example. With this experience of hardship, you had always advised us to always save up money and to spend wisely. Food should not be wasted, you would always remind us.
Jobs were scarce those days and you applied to become a teacher where you met father at the teachers' training college. You've always had fond memories of Seremban, and I made it a point to drive you there, to see how much the place had progressed and the Lake Garden which was a great recreation park during its heyday. Can't miss the state's first A&W outlet there. An active person you were, engaging in badminton matches and enjoying the international badminton games on television. The friends that you made during your teaching career, you kept them at heart in your later years.
As a teacher, we had the same school holidays. And we'd drive to Penang twice a year until the semester long break was reduced by one term. Still, annual trips to Penang is a must. To meet her parents (till their departures in 1992 and 1998) and brothers. Gurney Drive with the king crabs, Batu Ferringhi beach, Air Hitam Dam walk, Padang Brown and Penang laksa, hikes to Pantai Kerachut, Mukahead and Penang Hill, nutmeg and tausar phneah at Chowrasta Market, chee cheong fun from Tanjung Bungah market and not forgetting the nature stroll at Botanical Gardens.
Being the naughty primary school kid that I was, you reined in this behaviour while teaching in the same school that I was in. I was Mrs. Ang's (the teacher) son. You made sure I had my lunch ready in the canteen, under the hood. Being the contradictory introvert, I was privileged to be driven to school and chauffered for extra curricular activities, never to be exposed to the adventures of taking the bus to school together with my schoolmatess. I was only permitted to take the public bus during my secondary school days. Yes, pampered I was. I know.
To keep this excessive energy at bay, you had us take up violin. Protest was of no use. And we proceeded to learn our way till Grade 5, both theory and practical. These days, I'm grateful for the musical knowledge gained, having used it to play the guitar, piano and cello on my own. When my schoolmates were running around with motorcycles, you spent that much money to buy us expensive violins instead of the motorised two-wheeler. It was real torture during those years of hormonal growth, in my teenage years. The Saturday drives to Ujong Pasir remains in memory, the weekend family dine-outs. Simple pleasures then.
I was so closely monitored during my growing up years until the time when I went to Singapore to further my studies and subsequently worked my first job there. I know it was difficult during the initial separation, having driven me and younger brother to the island state and leaving us behind, in a completely new environment, where we had to learn to be independent. Calls back home were compulsory during Sunday nights. So that you're rest assured we're doing ok. Our uncles were there to take care of us too. It would be lonely at home without us turning the house upside down with our antics. And I kept myself busy with extra curricular activities. I was fortunate to be able to get the camera equipment on loan from the photography club and really indulged myself with it.
It was 1993 then. You were 47 years old at that time. Besides managing the 4 new houses that you and father bought, you had to consider paying our school fees in Singapore dollars. Fortunately, the oil refinery project was ongoing and the houses were rented by the company for their employees. So, the installments for the houses were taken care of. You had scrimped your life for us. There were no luxuries for yourself. Purchases for yourself were rare. The family was your focus. I remember your diligence in sewing paternal grandfather's pajamas every year, taking good care of him as a daughter-in-law. You retired from teaching in 2001 when you were 55 years old.
In 2003, I decided to return to Malaysia to settle down and be close to the family. In case anything happens, I wanted to be always there. No regrets about that. Paternal grandfather left 5 years later. You helped to care for your grandchildren, pouring love to them with your ever caring and nurturing ways. We're grateful to you for this assistance while we went out to earn our living. Dinner was always served when we arrived home after work. I'm living a blessed life with you around. Funds were limited in the years of my family life but we managed to scrape a few family holiday trips to Kota Kinabalu, Phuket and Langkawi.
One thyroid gland was removed in 1998 while the remaining one was removed in 2005. You
wrote us a letter, just in case you didn't survive the surgery (too much negative thinking, I guess). I have not opened the letter yet, till date. Will look for it one day. Being on thyroxine medication for life, it somehow affected your ability to walk far. On top of being breathless easily, you also had to grapple with the leg fatigue. In 2018, I decided that I'll drive you both during the regular Malacca trips, no longer taking the bus as you had to walk quite a distance. Limited in mobility you were but I made it a point to drive you around, especially to Penang to meet your brothers and sisters. Plenty of drives we had, in my quest to experience the variety of foodie enjoyment and discovery of the country's vast places of interest.
You did try to convince us to receive your money deposited into our bank accounts but I declined. That was 3 years ago. I thought that you had many more years to live and didn't want to think of the end of Life. Bought you a plastic folder and told you to keep all the houses' documents and important legal stuff in one place, which you duly complied. And you explained each document carefully, which is a blessing in disguise. We would be otherwise lost, in your absence, as you were the matriach of the house, keeping things in order. With the documents in order, I've submitted the application to transfer your pension to father.
With your passing, it's the end of an era. Sharp rimmed spectacles, mini skirts, tall wooden 'shoes', Elvis Presley, The Beatles, knitted sweaters, Vespa scooters. I'm lucky to have these photographs to look back on. You have lived past seven decades and taken care of me for almost five decades. It always feels like yesterday, that you cradled me in your arms. You have had your share of fun in your Life. It was always one activity after another and I'm following in your steps, in a modern world where I get to digitise the memories and share my experiences with others, on social media. In your days, you could have been a superstar.
-------- PERSONAL RECOLLECTIONS --------
I can recall the many advice that you gave (not in any particular order) :-
1. Study hard to get a good job. I played and had fun but still reached where I am today.
2. Don't gamble your money away. Put hard earned money to good use.
3. Wash your hair after getting caught in the rain. Otherwise, you'll get a headache.
4. Don't wear clothes which are still hot after drying in the sun. You'll get spots on the skin.
5. Don't waste food. Many poor people out there who are hungry.
6. Be grateful to the government (we had our differences in politics). Being a retired teacher, I understand your allegiance to the government of old.
7. Don't bathe with cold water at night. You'll suffer from rheumatism when you're old.
8. Don't read at close distance. You'll spoil your eyes.
9. Sleep early, get enough rest.
10. Motorcycles are dangerous. You didn't buy me a bike but allowed me to get a B2 riding license.
11. Don't go to snooker and bowling centres. Many bad hats there.
12. Don't owe people money.
13. Drink barley to prevent body heatiness.
14. Any clothes will do. No need to buy branded ones.
15. If got money, invest in property.
16. Clear any debt and it's best not to owe anyone anything whether money or favours
17. Peel the skin of apples and pears as they contain wax, rub a bit of salt to prevent the fruit from being oxidised.
18. Wash hair after getting caught in the rain. Otherwise, will get headache.
Things I should've done :-
1. More hugs and declaring thanks for the trouble to bring us up.
2. Play the Chinese chess set which I bought but procastinated bringing it out to play.
3. Massage your legs as you said it gets numb sometimes.
4. Chat more about the past although I did share the scanned old photos on tv.
5. Bring you out more often to check out the neighbourhood although you've always declined the trouble.
6. Agree to receive your money through bank transfer, to avoid the hassle of withdrawing after you've left us.
7. Cleared the spare room downstairs so that you don't have to climb the staircase every night.
8. Didn't share the weekend (18.7.21) photos on television. Procastinated.
9. Sit beside you, comb your hair and chat.
10. Cook a meal for you, although I did scramble egg with the kampung eggs that I helped to promote in KK, with fresh milk, to obtain the soft creamy texture
Things I've done :-
1. Registered for the vaccination program and had you completed both doses.
2. Drove you annually to Penang to meet your brothers and sisters.
3. Brought you flying to Sandakan, Langkawi and Phuket while brother accompanied you to Thailand and Australia.
4. Helped you pay Malacca houses' utilities bills and the final house installment online.
5. Placed your tired legs on the sofa stool just a few days before you left us.
6. Applied for Travel Permit from the police, to drive down to Malacca to fetch you and father to our house, a week before this year's CNY and you've been stuck here since then due to the lockdown orders. Took the opportunity to do the CNY visitations since we were there. Turned out that would be the final Malacca CNY for you.
7. Drove you to check out the new multi-storey market nearby.
8. Scanned the film photos (a project since November 2019) and played it on the big screen tv as we went back to the past together.
9. Showed you the payslips and professional certificates achieved, to assure you that I'm doing ok in Life, so that you don't have to worry about me.
10. Shared with you the adventures of thehapi8wanderer and the community services done, and the many types of new food to try.
11. Always fastidious in wearing appropriate clothing during the bike rides and with the right attitude, so that you don't have to worry about me being reckless and endangering myself.
12. Made sure family photographs are taken at every CNY and birthday celebration opportunity. You've always declined going to the studio for family shots but I've taken the effort to capture group photographs at home, dressed nicely.
13. Reminded you to make a list of things to be done, so that the outstanding items can be cleared progressively, as you're growing older and weaker.
14. When you were more mobile in the past, brought you to as many foodie places as we could think of and find.
15. Rode to Malacca to look for father's missing wallet in 2020. Turns out it was kept below the pillow, being the absent minded person that had kept you worried. I had taken leave to bring him to make a replacement IC and collected his new pensions card in Cyberjaya before this.
16. Showed you, on the LCD tv, the convenience of paying bills online.
17. Helped you cut finger and toe nails, when your right hand was in the process of healing after the fractured wrist incident.
18. Helped you pay the final installment for the Malacca property online, as it was not convenient for you to go to the government office, considering you had mobility issues.
19. Showed you photos of the Selayang outing and travelling during pre-CoVID times, during the final week, including the scanned final 3 photo albums.
20. Bought books written by PH leaders, so that you may appreciate their struggle to create a better Malaysia.
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1973 - Me In Mum's Arms
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| Gunung Jerai |
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1963 - Fun In Borrowed Kebaya Dress
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